Dearheart, you can stop pushing.
There’s a moment that comes when you realize you can stop pushing—that things will unfold, grow, break, and heal because that it is the way of life if we surrender ourselves to its rhythm.
I have spent so much time willing myself or certain situations to be different. I’ve used shame, fear, and other demeaning tactics to try and usher in the change sooner, but you know what—it never works. It never results in a foundational change that brings light and life to the garden of my life.
As cliche as it may sound, life is really about tending to our days, and beyond that the moments in our days. As I began focusing my energy in this way, the compound effect has been large and noticeable. It came by honoring and acting on what was mine to do in brief moments. I’m sure somewhere down the line, maybe even tomorrow I’ll forget this truth, so that’s why I’m writing myself this reminder note.
Remember how you couldn’t imagine that feeling of foundational-level unworthiness ever going away? It has. It’s gone, without a trace.
The truth is you’re not only allowed but encouraged to ask for exactly what you want in this precious life. The Divine wants to give it to you in love, not out of obligation or pity.
There has been a marked shift in my body and spirit and I’m not afraid of not measuring up anymore. I’m not afraid of not being enough anymore. The general cloud of scarcity that I’ve believed hovered over me and my life is evaporating. I believe there is enough for me—enough time, love, community, work, creativity, money, travel, and impact.
There’s no doubt unworthiness and scarcity are a complex duo, but sitting with them and uncovering them inside my heart and my body made a way for grief to be processed and revelation to burst forth: I am devoted to leading a life sourced by love and abundance.