September 14, 2007

September 14, 2007: The day I packed up what could fit in my car and set off for Los Angeles. I didn’t yet know all the reasons I was going, but it didn’t matter. In the previous year I’d battled with depression and lost my friend Lauren when she was killed suddenly in a car accident, two weeks shy of her 22nd birthday. I decided no matter how scared I was, I couldn’t keep waiting around for the life I wanted to arrive on my doorstep. Initially, I thought I was moving in search of my dream to be a singer-songwriter, but truthfully, I was going in search of myself. I wanted to see what I was made of—what my composition was.

All these years later—after a lot of therapy, self-development, & creative growth I have a greater sense of who I am and what I'm made of. I still believe the bravest version of me was the one who decided to follow that little voice to LA. That Brandi in 2007 didn’t know what was in her future. She didn’t know she’d quit music school after 1.5 quarters. Or that she’d stumble into makeup artistry. She didn’t have a clue about therapy or The Artist’s Way or running 5Ks. She didn’t know she’d turn out to be a good writer or start playing her music in front of people. She definitely didn’t know she’d get to make an EP. All these things were just dreams inside my heart. Some of them I was aware of and others I wasn’t. But something magical happens when you show up in an environment that can simultaneously break you down and foster your growth. And that’s what LA was for me—a beautiful incubator that gave me a taste of what was possible for me if I believed in myself and showed up in my life.

I will forever be grateful that I found the courage to make that move. It opened up my life in ways I could have never imagined, and led me to Nashville where I got to learn and grow even more. Cheers to you, City of Angels and all the incredible friends I made along the way. You changed my life and you’ll always have a huge piece of my heart.

TO THE LIGHTS

( the last song I wrote before I moved away)

to the lights

to the lights up on on the hill

to the streets

paved with heartbreak and gold

to the air

where dreams unfold

I’ll hold you forever in my soul

to the angels

that led me through the dark

to the broken

on the boulevard

fame will wither

but your love won’t fade

and I’ll carry it

with every move I make

I was lost and found

in the City of Angels

I was lost and found

in your eyes